I started Ten Big Ones this afternoon. It was in the mid 60's so I sat on the porch in the sun and started the book.
It was probably not a good idea to sit outside, though, because I was laughing out loud at the book and the neighbors must have thought I was losing it.
Here's an excerpt:
My Grandma Mazur was at the front door, waiting for me. Grandma Mazur rooms with my parents now that Grandpa Mazur is living la vida loca everlasting. Grandma Mazur has a body like a soup chicken and a mind that defies description. She keeps her steel gray hair cut short and tightly permed. She prefers pastel polyester pantsuits and white tennis shoes. And she watches wrestling. Grandma doesn't care if wrestling's fake or real. Grandma likes to look at big men in little spandex panties.
"Hurry up," Grandma said. "Your mother won't start serving drinks until you're at the table, and I need one real bad. I had the day from heck. I traipsed all the way over to Stiva's Funeral Parlor for Lorraine Schnaigle's viewing, and she turned out to have a closed casket. I heard she looked real bad at the end, but that's still no reason to deprive people from seeing the deceased. People count on getting a look. I made an effort to get there, dressing up and everything. And now I'm not going to have anything to talk about when I get my hair done tomorrow. I was counting on Lorraine Schnaigle.
"You didn't try to open the casket, did you?"
"Me? Of course not. I wouldn't do such a thing. And, anyway, it was locked up real tight."
I just love this series! Reading each book is like visiting family. You love them but they embarrass the heck out of you.
1 comment:
Hi Linda,
I was hoping you might like to play along in meme called "page 123".
I've been tagged, and thought I would tag you in return.
The rules are pretty simple:
It's pretty straight forward. All you have to do is:
1. Pick up the nearest book.
2. Open to page 123
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people, and acknowledge who tagged you.
Happy reading!
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